Oh hey. Don't mind me, just sneaking back in after ALMOST A YEAR of not writing blog posts. How did you survive, I hear you ask? I missed you so much, I hear you wail! For the love of god, woman, have you finished your sexy novel?
Yes, yes. Please try to calm down a little bit, and all of your (my) very caring (imaginary) questions will be answered (probably).
Why no write? Short answer: I am a fickle woman and I got bored. Long answer: how long have you got? But rest assured, when I finally got off that submarine, the president gave me a nice medal, the rescue dolphin was reunited with his wife, and I finally understood why breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Yeah, you missed me.
Anyway, I found this draft just now. From August or something. Enjoy!
The Panda is the next Abandoned Cross-stitch clutch at MiuAndUmi now. I had so much fun deconstructing this one, as it was large and professionally framed. I got a little medieval on it's ass.
And then it got a little medieval on mine. Luckily I am incredibly brave and managed to soldier on.
The Woods is one of the Abandoned Cross-stitch clutches in MiuAndUmi right now.
Today I jumped right out of my comfort zone and sent part of my rough draft novel to a friend for feedback. This is something I practically never do. Occasionally I'll read out a paragraph that's troubling or pleasing me, only to have Cam say "It's good. I like it." I consider Kirsty to be my number one proof-reader/teller of truths, but when I read her the 'sexy' parts we just ended up in hysterics, so I figured it was time to outsource. Stay tuned for that one.
Yay finally! The Abandoned Cross-stitch clutches are in MiuAndUmi! What a relief to get the ideas out of my noggin and into the shop. Now I can stop obsessing over them! I went through a brief phase of - shall we say - intense interest? Scouring op-shops, sewing until all hours, generally being a terrible wife and mother (oh, the shame). Meh, you know I don't care. I'm like the honey badger.
Say hello to the best cake ever. (According to the newly 8-year-old PomPom.) It was an epic production, wherein I displayed all the emotions a human is capable of, and possibly discovered a few new ones. It took. All. Day. But was worth it because of the delicious love I got in return. And ahem - Instagram/Facebook kudos which I lapped up like the shameless praise whore I really am.
Would you like to see me giving it out indiscriminately on Instagram? I'm melanieshmelanie.
Terrible photo quality, I know, and I just love that I managed to capture the one corner of the kitchen where the tiles are still waiting for their grout... But none of that matters, because...
PINATA CAKE!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that I also made rainbow cupcakes and threw a little party at the playground? Yeah.
Pink lemonade! I sugared the kids up real nice. Parties are fun, aren't they?
Oh, and while I think of it...
A good birthday for me. Not for the horse.
So May is now a fading memory, and I'm no longer able to say "but it's my birthday month" when I want to get my own way. I raised $200.60 for Kiss Goodbye to MS and feel proud of my contribution. I even made a celebratory collage. Impressed? I know I am.
I'm wearing red every day of May to raise funds and awareness for Kiss Goodbye to MS, and donating 100% of my sales from Miu & Umi to this important cause. If you see something you'd like in the shop, know that with your purchase comes support for amazing research that could see more effective treatments and most importantly, a cure for Multiple Sclerosis.
Last month I was truly saddened by news of the death of Divinyls' lead singer Chrissy Amphlett, who lost her battle with breast cancer and MS. Ms Amphlett lived in our neighbourhood when we were kids, and Kirsty and I would stalk her in the supermarket, starstruck to see her shopping for groceries in her huge black suglasses. Growing up, we both loved her incredible fuck-you aura of rock posturing, appreciating that in Australian rock, chicks like her were supremely rare. She was tough and unapologetic and outrageously sexy, and probably could've taught young musicians a thing or two.
Kirsty's blog post on MS! The Musical talks about Chrissy Amphlett and MS, and affords a glimpse of her daily physical and emotional struggle. But somehow she still manages to be good-looking, hilarious and cool as shit? What's with that? She's pretty much the most mathematical person I know.
So, it's getting cooler and you know what that means... crochet, baby! I'm smashing out a bunch of heart garlands at the moment, and dreaming of big booty blankets and all the other cool stuff that can eventuate when hook meets yarn. If you'd like to order a garland, or have ideas for different colours, lengths, what have you, PLEASE let me know. That would be cool.
In other news - it's my birthday! Yay! Cue trumpets, confetti and balloons! Man, I'm getting so old, but I still feel like a spazzy teenager. What's with that?
I've already shared a giant Hershey Kiss with the kids (actually I nibbled the nub off the top, then the kids put their hands on it, and I know what they do with their little hands, ewwww, so the rest of the chocolate is now theirs. Too much knowledge is a burden.) But the best bit is that Cam gave me a frickin OVERLOCKERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words can't express how much I've yearned for this. I'm practically beside myself! Now I have to learn how to make underwear, and t-shirts, and all kinds of crazy stuff. Omigod you guys.
Admitting - defeat. Yup. I extended my borrowing time from the library, and even still... In my defense, this is one incredibly dense novel. It deserves my full attention, and that's only gonna happen if I own a copy. David Foster Wallace -1, Me -0.
Rethinking - a project. Do you ever do that thing where something looks amazing in your mind, but the reality is just kind of... meh? I found these brilliant felted alphabet stickers and thought it would be perfect for a bit of wall lyric action. But I got halfway, ran out of A's, and fell hard out of love with the whole idea. These weekly projects are harder than I thought!*
(Dear reader, you may have noticed that I've spaced big-time on the weekly projects. That's because I'm oppositional. Equal parts lazy and stubborn. I hate being told what to do, even if I'm telling myself. I'll get back into it... probably. I've still got a bunch of weeks, right?)
All that being said, I've got some really fun stuff in the works. Stuff I love wildly, that makes me very happy, stuff that gets me out of bed in the morning! So, stay tuned.
Thrumming - in my veins every time I hear this song by Melbourne band Harmony. It's called Cacophonous Vibes, it's loud and strange and full of soundwaves. Enjoy!
We had so much fun making these cute little bacon and eggs on Wednesday afternoon - don't they look adorable? It's so simple yet effective, and easy to do with the little monkeys (although I do admit I got a little perfectionist mum, saying things like "No no, the M&M is upside down!")
Not proud. Can't help it.
Anyway, the mixture of salty, crunchy pretzels with the sweet white chocolate and M&Ms is tasty delicious and reminds me a little of the salted caramel milkshakes we make at work. Yum!
I wish I could claim the cleverness of this invention, but alas, t'was not I. This was the source.
I think the ratio of yellow to all other colours in the M&M packet was a little skewiff. We ran out of yellow, so we made some green eggs. Now I'm figuring out which lolly could look a bit like ham... any ideas?
So our present to each other is a record player. YAY!
I started the turntable for the maiden spin with my Alexei Sayle record, CAK! which made the kids laugh their heads off. And all day I've been playing old friends I haven't heard for years, and new (old) ones I've never heard... like the original score from West Side Story.
It's been a very quiet week for me, with a touch of heat exhaustion sitting me firmly on my arse. Wow, I felt bad.
So project 4 is a low-key effort... these photos turned out more dramatic than I expected, and I love them! Our new home-made 'stained glass' windows are really cardboard and cellophane, but they look so cheerful and cast the most amazing light in the afternoon.
It's rare to catch these two in repose, so when I saw the opportunity, I took it.
Leaking - out of my eyes while watching Seeking a friend for the end of the world. I didn't expect it to be so moving. Steve Carell manages to be both hilarious and a figure of pathos, and Keira almost hit a Clementine note with her 'quirky chick' character. Am I a loon because I think end-of-the-world movies are fun?
Over-committing - just maybe? My second 52 project, and I'm just a little (ahem) behind schedule. But hey, it's no biggie. I'll class this as a "to be continued". It's so much fun, but I made the rookie mistake of stitching like a fiend for a few hours straight, then wondering why my head was pounding. What a rube.
Hooking - for love. That's right! Valentine's Day is not too far away, and I'm listing my heart garlands in the shop.
Adoring - the snapdragons on my verandah. I like the way they're so delicate and pretty, yet they have such a violent name.
Losing - my shit when Madonna comes in to the cafe and lets me say hi to her sweet little wards. This guy is apparently very naughty. I don't believe it for one second.
Sewing - A giant loveheart pillow for my beautiful friend Tina. Getting the shape right is not as easy as I thought it would be. I had to pull the stuffing out and start again!!!
Exhibit A
Sighing - Well, my sister Kirsty is in San Francisco, and she's having the best time. I wish so freakin' much I could be there too. She's a sterling travel partner. So, to be totally predictable, here's Scott McKenzie with the original "San Francisco (Be sure to wear flowers in your hair)"
Gorgeous ceramics! (This was $1 - why would you ever chuck this?)
So, second week of the school holidays and I'm still officially sane. We laid a heavy ban on TV and it seemed that behaviour had improved... cue return of TV, cue return of infantis horribilis.
Planting - in the veggie garden, hooray. Stay tuned for riveting details of my snowpeas, tomatoes and various herbage. Gardening just makes me feel so chilled. This enormous dandelion is not from my garden, I picked this on a little stop-over in Goomeri, Queensland. Right next to Cheeseworld. That's right. Cheeseworld.
(The real kick in the face is that, although the cheese selection was rather worldly, I did not buy a skerrick of cheese. Not a morsel. Not a crumb. Both the kids did the carsick thing, and I thought proximity to stinky cheese might make it even worse.)
Farewelling - Ok, is that even a word. Meh, I don't know. We said goodbye to GG, my grand-mother, after a long and exhausting illness. The service had a large turnout, with family coming from far and wide, and I couldn't help but think it was exactly the kind of get-together that GG and Papa really enjoyed. The weather in Yeppoon was too perfect, the visiting too brief and the occasion too sad.
Which is why I feel compelled now to share this:
If you aren't sure why this is funny, then you probably never snuck a peek at a People magazine. This one is for all the dirty-minded folk. I know you're out there, sniggering into your moustaches.
Melting - Maybe I've shared this gem before, but it bears a second hearing, I'm sure. First heard at the very end of Heathers (all-time favourite eighties/high-school/black humour movie of all time, with a wickedly delicious Christian Slater and Winona Ryder when she was pure as the driven snow...)
So turn up the speakers, maybe close your eyes for a couple of minutes and drift away in quiet, soulful contemplation to the gorgeous 'Que Sera Sera' by Sly and The Family Stone.
Boy howdy, it's been a long and trying week. The husband is still out of commission.
That's a whole week! Since we work together, and he's been unable to do anything for himself, neither of us have been working. Of course, we work with some of the best peeps on the planet and they've covered our sorry arses, but this whole scene is getting really old.
But, ya know, after 3 very long days (and nights) of caring for a husband in intense pain after screwing up his back, I'm hardly compos mentis. In fact, I'm starting to think I've got grounds for justifiable homicide.
In other news, I put some new earrings in the shop, started some goal-making and ate pretty much everything in the house. And when that food was gone I baked some more. Awesome.
Drinking - Coffee... always coffee. On a rare day off with my best guy, we drink coffee and eat cake.
Polishing - the final photos of some new earrings, soon to be seen in MiuAndUmi, yay!
Watching - The new series 'Dirk Gently' on iView. I still can't help but think of Steve Mangan as Guy Secretan from Green Wing, one of the funniest and wrongest shows I've ever seen on TV. In a good way!
My favourite Black Heart Earrings, the ones I wear almost every day. I've finally got around to putting these in my shop. Phew! Sometimes the simplest of tasks seem ridiculously hard.
Sooooo my birthday is coming up pretty soon and I's just suggesting to the universe at large that it consider for one second that this bag will actually, literally make my life complete.
A quick mention about the sale in my shop - if you use the discount code KISSES000 you'll get 20% off everything, which is nice. Aussie shoppers still have 3 more days to take advantage of the sale before my mailing cut off... then Valentine's Day is upon us!
Drinking - Rose and French Vanilla iced tea... this could be my new obsession. It's just like normal iced tea, only 50 times better!!!
Crocheting - more hearts for my Valentine garlands. They're so cute no matter what you do with them.
Reading - Wildwood with my little darlings. They get so involved in the story, gasping and exclaiming, it's the sweetest thing. It's a cracking yarn, and I've tried hard not to read ahead and spoil the story for myself. It was written by Colin Meloy, of The Decemberists. He's a funny guy...
So, St Valentine's Day. Whether you love it or hate it, think it's a chance to be super-romantic or another way for Hallmark to take your money, Valentine's Day is kinda hard to ignore. If you work with other people in any kind of situation, there will be the squeals of glory and delight from the recipients of enormous bouquets, and there will be the grumbles and razzafrazzes of those not so lucky. I've been on both sides, but I'm an old married lady now, and I get to stamp my feet if I'm not gifted with something shiny or sweet smelling. (I'm mostly kidding!)
Personally, I like Valentine's Day as an idea. A day simply to express your true feelings of love and devotion, to make known your affections, to revel in the overuse of love hearts and eat a little chocolate? How can that be bad?
The issue that I take is the cookie-cutter feel of a dozen red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. As with almost everything in my life, I want it different. I count myself lucky beyond measure to be married to my best friend, and to share with him many of the same tastes and opinions. (Except maybe when it comes to 80's music and sarsparilla) This means that I can be certain he'll never rely on the tried-and-tested Valentines favourites. One year it was a trip to a day spa (heaven!), once a voucher for a deep relaxation massage. There's usually a drawing or a painting, or a terribly mis-spelled and daggy poem. (He has a degree in fine arts, so his art should be better than his poetry)
I'm not bragging, I promise!
We can own our gift-giving, even on such clearly prescribed celebratory days as this, especially if the gift is a shared experience. I say no more red roses! Unless of course that's the one thing that your sweetie will swoon for.
These sound dreamy to me...
A row on a lake with Django Reinhardt playing, and a nice bottle of red
Make a bed picnic with a big tub of cookies and cream icecream
Sit on your favourite beach and watch the sun come up
Go out dancing together until your head is whirling
I'd love you to share your ideal St Valentine's day....
Have you entered my very first giveaway yet? All you have to do is tell me in the comments what summer means to you. Easy! And of course for all the folks on the other side of the world surrounded by snow and ice, it's a chance to really conjure up a little warmth.
So far there are some lovely entries, and I can't wait to read yours.
