Meet "Violet Beauregarde". She will not listen when she is told it's rude to chew gum. Never mind, she will get her comeuppance.
Last night at my sister's house, over heaped plates of steaming chilli and fruity sangria, she and her husband informed me they were taking me to Paris! Paris! My number one destination in the entire world - bar none! Quelle surprise! My head is a-whirl with gratitude, excitement and a little soupcon of fear.